Chat with Daniel Stoltenberg
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12:17 AM Daniel: Hi!
12:18 AM me: Hi! You're nuts!
Daniel: Every time I talk to you it's "crazy" this and "nuts" that. Yeesh.
me: "Every time" meaning "within the last three minutes when you IM'd me eleventy times?"
Daniel: Ah . . . yes.
12:19 AM me: HA/
I mean, HA!
Daniel: I took your quiz!
I'm jane!
me: That's what I thought you would be.
It was too much to hope that you would be Billie Jean.
Daniel: You should write a quiz just for me, that has a "Daniel" result.
12:20 AM me: I will do that. The questions will be things like: "True or False: Your last name is Stoltenberg."
Daniel: Haha! Doooo eeeeeet!
12:21 AM me: Actually, a "Which of my friends are you like?" quiz would entertain me greatly. Are you a Daniel? An Evan? An Eli (God forbid)? A Jesse? Only one way to find out. You know what would be HILARIOUS, though? If you took the test and WERE'NT Daniel.
12:22 AM Daniel: Oh! That's too cool not to do!
me: I'm on it.
Daniel: Make that your next project please :)
me: For you, anything.
12:23 AM Now I just have to think of good Daniel-like questions . . . like, "True or False: Frances the Badger RULES."
Daniel: TRUE!
me: YOU'RE TOTALLY A DANIEL!!!!!
Daniel: I win!
Heheh
me: It will be a short quiz. That was the only question.
12:25 AM Daniel: Well, that's alright I guess.
I don't know how you'd end up with "Eli" from that though
12:26 AM me: Okay, fine, TWO questions. "True or False: Are you a jerk?"
Daniel: Zing!
me: I know, I know, I'm a mean horrible person.
Daniel: Lol
12:27 AM me: Indeed.
Daniel: I'm trying to customize my fonts, which is why I'm being inattentive.
me: Nerd.
12:28 AM Daniel: OKCupid tells me that I'm "more attentive" under normal circumstances. I haven't gotten to "more geeky" yet.
12:29 AM me: "More attentive" than me? Jigga-wha? You mean I am not the world's most attentive person? Pshaw, is my response. I like that we're both more pure and more moral than everyone else, though. Take THAT, heathens.
Daniel: I'm level 9 moral!
me: Me too, I think . . . am I not?
12:30 AM Daniel: Uh, let's see
me: PS I can't get over that you're 20% my enemy. I love that.
Daniel: Hehe. You're only level 4 moral, sucka
me: Oh, shut up. I have other good qualities.
Daniel: Like "aggressive" and "greedy"?
12:31 AM me: WHAT?!?! Greedy? Damn you, OK Cupid! I am NOT greedy. That pile of gold in my basement is mine. (Beautiful, lovely taxes! AH-ha! AH-ha!)
12:32 AM Daniel: Uh, I was just kidding. awkward pause
12:33 AM me: No, it actually says that you're less greedy than me. It used the word "greedy." Those bitches think they know me. WELL THEY DON'T>
That was supposed to be a period.
Daniel: You just need to answer more questions!
And look at this: http://www.gigabeach.com/images/towel-or-dog.jpeg
12:34 AM me: Hilarious! Is that from cuteoverload.com?
Daniel: Hm, I don't know!
me: Everyone at my office is obsessed with that website.
12:35 AM Daniel: Now I, too, will be
me: It does seem like a website made for you.
12:36 AM Daniel: Aw shucks :)
Have any people hit on you randomly on OK Cupid yet?
12:37 AM me: No, not yet. I'm actually not having a lot of luck . . . most of the lesbians in Portland are, not to be a bitch, tacky butches with dreadful hair. I've got my eye on a 29-year-old Catholic in grad school for physics but she hasn't logged on since July so I'm probably out of luck. DAMN. Oh well, it's only been like 3 days.
12:38 AM Daniel: Heh, that's funny - the one guy I would even consider dating who I saw hasn't logged in since September.
Although someone from Maryland IMed me randomly at like midnight last night.
THat was odd
12:39 AM me: That is weird . . . I've reconnected with a girl from high school, and a bunch of random people who were all like "I love your quiz!" but that's it. I enjoy having a means of regular contact with Max and Val if nothing else, though.
Daniel: Grin is on too!
12:40 AM me: I found her and asked her to be my friend.
You know what you should be doing right now? Reading my play.
Daniel: That's true!
12:41 AM I just sent you an email
12:42 AM me: Hee! Nothing is as funny as ANYTHING with a shark fin strapped to it. Comedy gold, people.
Daniel: I certainly enjoyed it lol
12:43 AM me: Sometimes I feel like in a past life you were a stuffed animal.
Not like a taxidermy one.
Daniel: Hmmm. There are layers and layers to that comment.
12:44 AM me: No, there's really just the one layer . . . a fluffy stuffed animal layer!
12:45 AM Daniel: My favorite stuffed animal when I was a kid was a pea. Like a pea pod.
12:46 AM me: Ohhhhh, cute . . . I hope it wasn't a freaky Anne Geddes pea pod with a trio of babies in it. I LOATHE Anne Geddes. My favorite was the blue bear I still have that is smushed practially 2-dimensional from 20 years of my head laying on it. I also had a stuffed Mrs. Frisby from "NIMH" and a pink kitty named Pink Kitty. I looooooooved Pink Kitty.
I was not a good stuffed-animal-namer. That was not my gift.
12:47 AM Daniel: HAHA!
I like that you hate Anne Geddes.
That makes a lot of sense to me.
me: There are layers and layers to THAT comment. Are you accusing me of hating babies and cuteness?
12:48 AM Daniel: No. Just of hating Anne Geddes, who has found the modern niche for child exploitation for capitalistic and evil purposes.
me: Oh. That. Yeah, totally. She's the only person worse than what's-his-name who dresses up his dogs like President and Mrs. Lincoln or whatever and then takes their picture. Seriously, dude. Those dogs do not look happy.
Daniel: Heheh
me: Awwww, cute pea pod . . .
12:50 AM I have a great mental image of you at like four years old in footie pajamas walking around the house with your pea pod and ending every sentence with "said the little boy."
Daniel: LOL
12:51 AM I need to watch who I tell that stuff to
me: I haven't revealed your secret.
That's a lie.
I totally have.
Daniel: To whom?!
me: But only to nice people.
Um . . . let me think . . .
12:52 AM My mom, Catherine, Sarah . . . that might be it.
Daniel: Oh that's not so bad
me: Besides, I think you've spilled one or two of MY secrets in your day . . . oh, you know what I mean.
12:53 AM Daniel: Hmmm.
Touche.
me: Damn straight.
Daniel: Well 1:00 is sort of my bed time. So I should log off.
12:54 AM me: OMG, I had no idea what time it was. Ack!
Good night, babe!
Daniel: Night :)
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