This Is My Catholicism #1

TWO POEMS BY LEONARD COHEN


"In the Eyes of Men"

In the eyes of men he falls, and in his own eyes too. He falls from his high place, he trips on his achievement. He falls to you, he falls to know you. It is sad, they say. See his disgrace, say the ones at his heel. But he falls radiantly toward the light to which he falls. They cannot see who lifts him as he falls, or how his falling changes, and he himself bewildered till his heart cries out to bless the one who holds him in his falling. And in his fall he hears his heart cry out, his heart explains why he is falling, why he had to fall, and he gives over to the fall. Blessed are you, clasp of the falling. He falls into the sky, he falls into the light, none can hurt him as he falls. Blessed are you, shield of the falling. Wrapped in his fall, concealed within his fall, he finds the place, he is gathered in. While his hair streams back and his clothes tear in the wind, he is held up, comforted, he enters the place of his fall. Blessed are you, embrace of the falling, foundation of the light, master of the human accident.

"When I Have Not Rage"

When I have not rage or sorrow, and you depart from me, then I am most afraid. When the belly is full, and the mind has its sayings, then I fear for my soul; I rush to you as a child at night breaks into its parents' room. Do not forget me in my satisfaction. When the heart grins at itself, the world is destroyed. And I am found alone with the husks and the shells. Then the dangerous moment comes: I am too great to ask for help. I have other hopes. I legislate from the fortress of my disappointments, with a set jaw. Overthrow this even terror with a sweet remembrance: when I was with you, when my soul delighted you, when I was what you wanted. My heart sings of your longing for me, and my thoughts climb down to marvel at your mercy. I do not fear as you gather up my days. Your name is the sweetness of time, and you carry me close into the night, speaking consolations, drawing down lights from the sky, saying, See how the night has no terror for one who remembers the Name.

----------------------------

"Hard to Get"
By Rich Mullins, from "The Jesus Record"


You who live in Heaven,
Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth
Who are afraid of being left by those we love
And who get hardened by the hurt
Do You remember when You lived down here where we all scrape
To find the faith to ask for daily bread?
Did You forget about us after You had flown away?
Well, I've memorized every word You said
Still I'm so scared, I'm holding my breath
While You're up there,
Just playing hard to get

You who live in radiance
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin
We have a love that's not as patient as Yours was
Still we do love, now and then
Did You ever know loneliness? Did You ever know need?
Do You remember just how long a night can get?
You were barely holding on as Your friends fall asleep
They couldn't see the blood that's running in Your sweat
Will those who mourn be left uncomforted
While You're up there,
Just playing hard to get?

And I know You bore our sorrow
And I know You feel our pain
And I know that it would not hurt any less
Even if it could be explained
And I know that I am only lashing out
At the one who loves me most
And after I've figured this, somehow,
All I really need to know,

Is if you who live in eternity
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time
We can't see what's ahead,
And we cannot get free from what we've left behind
I'm reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears
All the words of shame and doubt, blame and regret
I can't see how You're leading me, unless You let me in
To where I'm lost enough to let myself be met
And so You've been there all along, I guess
It's just Your ways, and You,
Are just plain hard to get


----------------------------

When Thou commandest me to sing, it seems that my heart would burst with pride; and I look to Thy face and tears come to my eyes. All that is harsh and dissonant in my life melts into one sweet harmony, and my adoration spreads like a glad bird in its flight across the sea. I know that Thou takest pleasure in my singing. I know that only as a singer I come before Thy presence. I touch by the edge of the far-spreading wing of my song Thy feet which I could never aspire to reach. Drunk with the joy of singing, I forget myself and call Thee friend Who are my Lord.

--Rabindranath Tagore, "Gitanjali"

----------------------------

I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve.

Then one night I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland and I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.

After that, I liked jazz music.

Sometimes you have to watch someone love something before you can love it yourself. It's as if they are showing you the way.

I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened.

--Donald Miller, from "Blue Like Jazz"

----------------------------

I came to You late, O Beauty so ancient and new. I came to love You late. You were within me and I was outside where I rushed about wildly searching for You like some monster loose in Your beautiful world. You were with me, but I was not with You. You called me, You shouted to me, You wrapped me in Your splendor, You broke past my deafness, You bathed me in Your light, You sent my blindness reeling. You gave out such a delightful fragrance and I drew it in and came breathing hard after You. I tasted, and it made me hunger and thirst; You touched me, and I burned to know Your peace.

--Saint Augustine